


leave my rage to the sea and the sun

by growlery writes (growlery)



Series: pirate!raven, mermaid!bellamy [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Backstory, Character Death, F/F, F/M, Notfic, Pirates, Raven Reyes-centric, Violence, i was thinking about this au a lot and just needed to get this out of my brain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-01
Updated: 2018-04-01
Packaged: 2019-04-16 12:47:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14165160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/growlery/pseuds/growlery%20writes
Summary: because, see, the thing is, raven's self preservation instinct overrules all else, except for the people she loves.(or, how raven grew up to become a pirate queen)





	leave my rage to the sea and the sun

raven and finn are like brother and sister - they met as young children as raven's mum worked on the docks and finn would come in off the ships with his mother when she had shore leave and finn would tell her stories of the world that left her breathless and yearning. raven's mother is neglectful and raven does a lot of the work for her and pretty much takes care of her mother who she loves fiercely, until one day Something and her mum dies and raven is left a distraught orphan with no one in the world but herself.

she starts officially working at the docks even though she's far too young because she's a familiar face with everyone and she's a decent mechanic even as a twelve year old. but the next time finn comes in and finds her, she leaves with him, stowing away on the ship. it's a simple merchant ship, with enough old nooks for raven to hide in (she's always been good at making herself small) but finn can only get away with sneaking her food for so long, especially when the ship's captain is ruthless and works everyone to the bone.

it's not looking good for raven or finn, but raven stands her ground, stares down this man thirty years her senior and says she can be useful, that she worked on the docks, that she knows how to fix something no one else even noticed was broken. that gives the captain pause, and it's enough grace for raven to be brought officially on board, though not enough for finn to avoid punishment. finn's mother is not pleased (is furious that finn snuck her on and blames raven) and forbids them to see each other, so raven is, again, all alone in the world. the only difference is the wide stretches of sea, and this is where raven learns that total freedom can be as restrictive as restraints. raven sneaks off as much as she can to see finn (who never makes a similar effort to see her) and raven forms a huge, hopeless crush on an oblivious finn.

 

four years into this, they are attacked by pirates. they've been attacked by pirates before, of course, and had some very close scrapes, but this one is devastating. it's a combination of the sheer force of the pirates (two ships, one only appearing halfway into the fight) and a vicious storm and general fatigue (the captain is not generous with supplies). the pirates kill everyone on board except raven and finn - "we're not fucking murdering children," the first mate says, and the captain nods. raven is quick to explain that they can be useful; her survival instinct overpowers anything else. finn looks somewhat betrayed when she says this, and whatever, she's sad his mum died but what are they gonna do, jump overboard in protest?

(they will have this fight later and it will sever something important between them but raven will still love him, so much the whole of her aches with it.)

it doesn't help that the crew of this ship is much nicer to her than the other one was. one of them noticed her aptitude with something and takes her under their wing to mentor her. people listen when she says things, makes suggestions, starts to crack jokes. every inch of progress is another inch between her and finn, who wants to try and escape when they next set down on land. (as unofficial prisoners, they're not allowed off the ship and are under supervision while the others are free to roam.) raven talks him out of it, it'd be risky and foolish and they'd only die, and what would be the point in that? raven wants to live. raven wants so very desperately to live. so finn stays, and raven stays, and they forge a life together. probably raven screws up all of her courage (which is quite a bit) and kisses finn, and he kisses her back, and it is sweet and gentle and happy and good.

 

for a time. as pirates they raid quite a few ships, and at first raven and finn hang back, not quite being trusted and also not wanting to unnecessarily endanger themselves, but it turns out raven has a flair for the explosive, and it's not long before they put a pistol in finn's hand. he hates using it, and avoids firing it at any cost, but it means he goes out with the people who lead the assault, and one day, things go wrong. they underestimate the other ship, or overestimate themselves, and they're overwhelmed.

raven's still on the ship loading up gunpowder when the captain makes the call to get the fuck out of there. ravens ordered to keep firing so they have enough cover to get away, which means they're well on their way before she finds out that finn (along with a few other crewmembers) were left on the ship. she immediately insists they go back for them. such a show from anyone else would immediately garner punishment, but the captain has a soft spot for her and gently explains that they're all fucking dead, love, it'd be a suicide mission, and she understands that, right?

raven wants to scream, but she just nods, and while everyone is distracted she takes down one of the boats and rows away back to the other ship, armed with enough explosives to fell a small town. because, see, the thing is, raven's self preservation instinct overrules all else, except for the people she loves. if finn had tried to leave the ship way back when she'd have gone with him even though she knew it meant certain death. she can't just let him die. she has to at least try and get him back.

and she does, of course, get him back. it involves a lot of stealth and then a lot of explosions, but it ends with them diving into the ocean and swimming back to safety. well, relative safety, because the explosions draw the pirates back (they put two and two together when they notice the missing boat) and the captain is furious when he picks them both up, but also impressed with her courage and quick thinking, and that's how raven gets promoted to actual crewmember. (finn, notably, is not.)

 

things are... okay, for a time, but unrest starts to grow. it's led by another of the crew, murphy, who raven has never liked, who stages a mutiny and frames her for it. the captain doesn't believe it, but enough of the crew do that he has to do something about the accusations, and so he maroons both of them with a single bullet in a gun each, instructs them to kill each other, if not themselves. finn has to be restrained, but they tell him to hold fucking still unless he wants to go along with them, and he subsides.

raven tries not to let it hurt her. she'd have followed him, if the situation were reversed, but she knows she expects too much of finn, wants too much from finn. she loves him so much, but she's starting to realise it just isn't the same for him. but she's got bigger things to worry about now, stranded on a desert island with nothing but one shot.

raven doesn't plan to be stranded long, though. she pulls her dagger on murphy as soon as they're both onshore and yells at him until she's hoarse, and then throws him back and tells him to make himself useful and go look for the cache of rum she's sure is stashed here. they throw them on the fire to make a signal and after a time, see black sails on the horizon - another pirate ship, but raven isn't feeling too picky right now. right now, she just wants to fucking live.

and then, just as she thinks maybe something can be salvaged from this, that she can try and make her way back to her only family in the world, now, murphy shoots her. he's a lousy shot. he misses her heart entirely, but she still falls to her knees, still bleeds. he tries to drag her into the trees - selfish bastard can't stand the thought of her getting rescued, too - and she's weak, can't reach her dagger, but her gun is on her belt and she closes her hand around it and doesn't miss. she's almost passed out from the pain and blood loss when the pirate ship sets down, but she doesn't lose consciousness until she feels someone lift her into their arms.

 

she wakes up in a bed. it's a nice bed, much nicer than she expected, but then she didn't expect to wake up. they managed to keep her stable but they couldn't risk taking the bullet out, so she's lost a significant amount of mobility in her left leg. they offer her a cane, the best they've got, but as soon as she's well enough to get out of bed, she sets about making herself a brace. once that's perfected, she insists they drop her off at the next port so she can find her way back to her old ship and get finn out of there. she's not sure what she'll do when she finds him, but the crew who rescued her are a decent bunch, and she bonds with quite a few of them as she's recovering, and when they drop her off the captain gives her an open invitation to return.

she tracks down the old ship, but he's long since moved on - the first chance he got he escaped, and they didn't bother giving too much chase. they did notice, says the first mate who always liked raven, that he was in the company of a blonde woman who looked a lot like the merchant daughter clarke griffin. raven doesn't pick up on the hint. she follows the lead, chases the only person she has in the whole world, and when she finds him in clarke's arms, it shatters her a bit. the only person she had in the whole world. she's defined herself with reference to him for the greater part of her life. she doesn't know who she is without him. and, fuck, it just really fucking hurts that he moved on that quickly, okay? she's allowed to be shattered by it. she's allowed to mourn.

she sticks around. she needs some time to figure out who she is now, what she wants to do now she only has to consider her own wants and needs. she's a bit fucking sick of the sea, too; dry land is a welcome reprieve. it means she's there when the port gets raided by islanders clarke's crossed one too many times and they all have to defend themselves. it means she sees when clarke is taken (not by the islanders but by the navy, conducting their own assault on the sly while everyone's distracted). it means she hears about finn slaughtering eighteen islanders in his quest to get clarke back, finn whose hand shook every time he raised a gun, finn who retched for hours after the first time he killed someone. it means she watches him die for his crimes, and she doesn't even get to hold him.

she leaves not long after that. dry land has sort of lost its appeal, too.

 

the first boat out of there takes her back to the port the friendly pirates had dropped her at, and she drinks a lot and thinks about her mother and befriends the barmaid who smiles at her and gently cuts her off when she's drunk. the barmaid's name is gina, and one night when she's leaning across the bar to listen to raven's sardonic jokes, raven kisses her. gina doesn't kiss her back, at first, and raven freezes, but then gina says, "you're drunk," and she sounds playful, but also kind of hopeful, and raven gives her a smile that shows her teeth and says, "no."

gina kisses her, and raven spends several sweet uncomplicated nights in her bed. and then one night when she's at the bar, she's joined by someone familiar. it's monty, one of the pirates from the ship that rescued her from marooning, and he's delighted to see her, wants to know all about how she's been, wants to know if she found the love of her life. it hurts, being reminded of finn; she can't hide that face fast enough. gina, behind the bar, having picked up enough to surmise what happened, tries to move monty on, but raven flatly tells him that didn't work out.

monty's like I'm guessing that's a bad thing so like, I'm not happy about it? but I am happy about it because omg we want you back, we need you back, the ship is useless without you. and raven's smiling without meaning to, knowing he's laying it on thick, they were doing fine without her and they'd continue to do fine without her, but she's fucking amazing, and it gets her when people get that about her. so she agrees to go, spends her last night on shore in gina's bed and promises she'll bring her back treasure.

gina, laughing, goes along with the joke; she asks what kind of treasure, what can she expect, it better be a good story, raven. and raven remembers something she hasn't thought about in years. finn's mum used to tell him a legend, a fairy story, about the lost treasure of angharad, and when raven was young and lonely and begged for stories, finn would tell her about it too.

"i'm going to find it," raven tells her, and, years later, she does.


End file.
